噓！我得小小聲地說 Merry Christmas

看到信封上的郵戳被換成了 Santa HOHOHO 的時候，就知道 Christmas 的腳步近了....


可是也不知道從什麼時候開始，耶誕節 Christmas 都得要小心翼翼地慶祝，
連 Merry Chritmas 當然也必須小小聲、偷偷地講...
因為太過招搖的話、是會傷了非基督教徒的心呢！

如果我沒記錯的話，應該是在 2002 年吧，
多倫多市政府前、耶誕樹旁的 Merry Christmas 祝賀語被換掉了，
換成是 Seasonal Greetings! (no more, Merry Christmas,eh! )


你問我為什麼？ #%^&$#! 當然是政治正確 political correctness 呀！
(基督教徒在多元化、多種族的社會裡，不可以挑起宗教對立？？)


不過說來既好笑、又諷刺，
在西方社會，基督教徒為了尊重穆斯林其它宗教，所以也不敢說 Merry Christmas，
甚至連耶誕節都要低調慶祝....

結果人家度拜 (Dubai) 瞎拼商場 Shopping Mall 卻是弄了一個超大的 Christmas Tree....




說到耶誕節、當然就要說到耶誕老人.....
跟耶誕節連在一塊的耶誕老人，其實是中文給他取的，
在英文是叫做 Santa Claus；
我也沒有去考據，到底是從什麼時候開始、耶誕節出現了耶誕老人，
不過似乎是沒有人真正看過耶誕老人的模樣....(??)

直到了 1931 年、可口可樂『僱用』了聖誕老人當做廣告主角以後，
才算是給耶誕老人的容貌、造型跟形象有了一個定義。

(Haddon Sunblom 為可口可樂創造的 Santa Claus 畫像)

話說這幾十年下來，胖胖可愛的耶誕老人陪伴了多少小孩一起長大，一點問題也沒有，
直到最近、竟然有專家說身材過胖的 Santa Claus 是小孩子的壞榜樣，





因為小孩子認為他們的偶像 Santa 長得這麼胖，他們多吃一點應該是沒有關係....


唉！這年頭、連當個偶像都這麼難呀....
要是扯到宗教、就必須低調；
要是說到以身作則、連個身材都要被人嫌！

那麼不然這樣好了，
從今年耶誕節過後，Santa 就開始健身....
明年、Santa 就以這副身材跟打扮出來亮相，這樣總可以當小朋友的優良模範了吧！


當然，為了避免又被人『政治正確』....
我們還得有個耶誕婆婆、一樣不可以是個胖婆婆喔....


對了.... 還有要拜託耶誕老人別再亂接廣告了....

像這個最近在加拿大又鬧出個 Santa 跟啤酒扯在一起的廣告，
你說這要叫小朋友看了以後、會有多傷心呀！



不過，最傷心的莫過於這個玩笑了....
有人竟然給 Santa 立個墓碑，你說這要小朋友不哭個肝腸寸斷才怪呢！


當然也不能告訴小朋友、 Santa 已經 Close 了... 這要那些還在等耶誕禮物的小朋友情何以堪呢？


最後，王小美小妹妹、要代表全天下的小朋友跟耶誕老人說....
「不管人家怎麼政治正確，還是嫌你有多胖.... 我們都還是很愛你的啦！
I Love You, Satan Santa!!!」

(王小美小朋友、Santa 要我告訴你，以後上英文課的時候要認真一點啦！！)



對了，王小美小朋友也要跟下面影片裡的那個(設計耶穌把耶誕老人殺死的)大叔說、你去吃屎啦.... 這樣子糟蹋我們耶誕老人....






附註：小朋友給 Santa 的一封信

Dear Santa: Why are you so fat?

Posted: December 27, 2007
1:00 am Eastern

By Larry Elder
© 2009

Dear Santa,

My name is Timmy, and I'm in the third grade.

My mom says I have to write thank-you letters for gifts. So thanks for the video games and stuff. But I have a couple of things I'd like to know about, if you feel like it.

One day in class Mrs. Tompkins – that's the teacher who teaches us – said a lot of people in this country eat too much food which makes them get fat and die ahead of skinny people. She said it is better to eat salad and other stuff that does not taste good, because salads don't get stuck inside the pipes of your body so that the blood and air inside the pipes can keep going without running into a French fry.

So how come you are so fat? Mrs. Tompkins said that if you eat a lot, you make other people eat a lot, too, because kids look up to you like they do their parents and try to do what you do. She said that grown-ups like you, Santa, need to be good road medals. So maybe next time, instead of fixing what you like, Mrs. Claus should fix something you don't like but is better for you, like a salad.

I want to ask you about the air being dirty. The sled you are in when the reindeers pull you looks really small, and since you give out toys to every good kid, you must have to go to the North Pole and back a lot of times. Does this mean you use a lot of gas and make the air really dirty? Mrs. Tompkins says the gas everybody gets makes it dirty and smell bad and kills animals, including us, too. We watched a movie about polar bears that did not have a house anymore because of the gas inside my dad's car. The movie said you should make the sun heat your house with a thing that you put on top of the roof. Can you put one on top of your sled so that the reindeer and especially Rudolph will not have to work as much? Besides, it will help the air. Mrs. Tompkins said that sometimes people who do things to make the air really bad will plant trees because trees are good for the air. Maybe when you are not in the chimney with gifts, you can plant trees for the air. Maybe you can get Mrs. Claus to do it, because I hardly ever see her do anything.

I have a dog named Champ. I know that you like animals too, because of the reindeers. One day Mrs. Tompkins told us that when we go to McDonald's and open the bun, there's an animal inside. Do you treat the reindeer and especially Rudolph in a good way? I guess you do, or they might run away, like Champ did one time when my little brother left the door open. Champ was gone a long time, and my dad went to look for him, and, even though he found him, he was still mad anyway. So I hope that you treat the reindeer really good so they don't run away and nobody eats them.

Every day in class we have the news. A lot of toys come from the Chinese in China, and they put something called lead in the toys. They aren't supposed to put in, but they put it in there anyway. How do you make sure the toys you give kids don't have any lead? My dad is a lawyer, and he said the lead will make a lot of people go to court and pay money. I hope you don't go to court, but I hope, if you do, you have money.

I have a shirt that is my favorite. But when I tried to wear it for the second day, because I wore it yesterday, my mom made me take it off. She said that only poor people wear the same shirt all the time, and it takes money to wear different shirts. I don't think you are poor because of all the toys you give away, even the lead ones. So why do you wear the same thing whenever I see you? I hope I did not hurt your feelings because I like red. But what if somebody would not take your toys because they feel sorry for you because you always wear the same thing?

My dad likes to yell at the TV because he watches a man who talks about people who shouldn't be here because they were not born here but are here anyway. My dad said that a lot of the people came here, but the paper they came here with told them to leave, but they did not leave. So when you took toys to kids all over the world, I hope you made sure you had the right paper so you stayed out of jail. If you did go to jail, you shouldn't wear the same thing I always see you wear, in case you were wondering about that.

So I think I should leave now. Eat food that doesn't stick to your pipes. If you have money after all the toys, you should buy a bigger sled so you can travel less than now, and Mrs. Claus won't have to plant so many trees, and keep the gate closed so you won't have to chase the reindeer like my dad did Champ, and make sure all the toys that come from China don't come from there anymore. And make sure the paper you have so you can deliver toys all over is not the wrong one so that you end up in jail and have to take off your red suit.

Happy New Year,

Timmy