Tuesday, November 24, 2009

是的、我就是見不得人家好啦!

一天、我不小心在停車場上看到一台 BC (British Columbia, Canada) 來的車子...

車子的牌照讓我眼睛一亮....
這應該是 BC 為了迎接 2010 冬季奧運、最新版的汽車牌照;


注意到了沒?!

The Best Place on Earth (怎麼樣、夠臭屁了吧... 地球上最好的地方)



以前 BC 的舊版車牌是這麼寫的....


Beautiful British Columbia (只說是自己漂亮... 蠻正常的『有自信』...)


你看看我們安大略省寫得多謙虛...


Ontario.... Yours To Discover (你自己來發現我們吧....)



或者是我們在 Wal-Mart 前面看到的另一台遠自北極圈下來的車子....


Explore Canada's Arctic (來探索加拿大的北極圈...) 多謙虛呀....




唉!這也難怪啦....
四季如春的 Vancouver (BC, Canada) 老是榮獲全世界最適合居住的城市,




你要是也住在溫哥華,真的要不臭屁也難。

在這麼高緯度的地方、光是這個四季如春,就有夠了不起了...


所以,溫哥華人很自豪地說:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM VANCOUVER IF YOU . . .

know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
(你認識的朋友裡,家裡頭有遊艇的要比家裡有冷氣機的多)

think that swimming is an outdoor sport or done on New Year's Day.
(在新年的時候、你還可以在戶外游泳)


其實,看著溫哥華人這麼一直稱讚自己....
我們做外人的,當然是忌妒遠大於羨慕;
像是房價好了,
溫哥華擁有全加拿大最貴的房價,這讓一般的人怎麼住得起唷。



不過呢,非常諷刺地,
全世界最適合居住的地方、卻也成了最適合犯罪的地方?!





沒關係,你們毒梟想要為非做歹,用毒品來控制人....
Vancouver 政府就來個免費供應毒品,看你們這些毒犯可以囂張到何時....




而且,對於這種免費供毒的德政、你還不能多做批評喔....
因為他們可是會告人的呢!





當然,溫哥華人自己也有不喜歡溫哥華的地方....
那就是這個冬天老愛下雨啦;

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM VANCOUVER IF YOU . . .
are not fazed by "Today's Forecast showers followed by rain"
and "Tomorrow's Forecast rain followed by showers."
Can't wait for a day with "Showers and sun breaks."
(溫哥華人自己說的...)


所以加拿大人有句俚語是在說溫哥華的天氣:

It's damper than duck dung.

這指的是溫哥華的冬天。因為海洋氣候的關係,溫哥華的冬天難得下雪,而是天天陰雨綿綿的日子,所以許多加拿大人如此戲稱溫哥華的冬天比鴨子的『嗯嗯』還要濕。


另外一個就是脫口秀最常拿來開溫哥華天氣的笑話:

A man died and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment.
As he stood around he noticed some souls were allowed to march right through the Gates of Heaven while others were led to Satan, who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.
After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the better of him. So he strolled over and tapped Satan on the shoulder.
"Excuse me," he said. "I'm waiting in the line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with others?"
"Ah, those....." Satan said with a groan. "They're from Vancouver. They're too wet to burn!"


中文版:
一個男人掛了,結果他發現他還得經過一關審判,才知道自己該是上天堂還是下地獄。
當他就在長長的隊伍裡等待的時候,他發現到:有些靈魂可以直接就上天堂,有些靈魂就被帶到撒旦那裡,撒旦就把這些靈魂拋進地獄的火坑去。可是呢,奇怪的是,撒旦三不五時會把一些靈魂拋在一邊,不往火裡丟。
因為好奇心的作祟,這個傢伙終於忍耐不住,上前去拍拍撒旦的肩膀,並且問撒旦:
『對不起,我就在那個隊伍裡等待審判....,我看到你有時候會把一些靈魂拋到旁邊那一小堆靈魂裡....,你為什麼不把他們丟進火坑裡呢?』
『噢!你說他們喔....;』撒旦無可奈如地回答說,『他們是從溫哥華來的,他們太濕了,沒辦法燒!』

2 comments:

  1. 從小小的車牌卻引起你這一堆的感受.
    反正這些愛"自誇的"就是會"臭屁ㄟ早死"

    ReplyDelete
  2. To H.C.
    哈哈哈....
    如果"臭屁ㄟ早死"... 是真的話...
    那 Vancouver 的人口不就會頓減好幾萬了嗎....!!??

    ReplyDelete

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